I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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