quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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