i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
