I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
