She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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