MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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