just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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