i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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