no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
