he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
