I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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