Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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