I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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