fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
