now i know why i became what i already was.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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