We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
