It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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