hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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