you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
