Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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