office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize