Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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