I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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