had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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