So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You pole danced in your parka.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
