Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
