i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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