Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
