and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
