woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
