I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
