I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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