dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The Olympian is in my bed
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
