walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We're too hungover to prance.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
