At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
