I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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