HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
