you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
