I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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