Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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