i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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