i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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