my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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