he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
