I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
