Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
