I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
