drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
