Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
do nipples grow back?
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