were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
