ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
